After I got my kindle, here is what I downloaded

For free on Amazon

- Bible

- G.K.Chesterton’s books (Orthodoxy, books from the Father Brown Series)

- Summa Theologica

- The Story of a Soul

www.vatican.va

- Caritas in veritate

Through Calibre, I have added the following feeds

- Catholic Education Resource Centre

http://www.catholiceducation.org/rss/latestarticles.xml

- Catholic News Agency (I like some of their columns)

Choose specific feeds you want at http://www.catholicnewsagency.com/rss/

as well as general news feed, ‘The Economist’ and ‘Today Online’ (Singapore). Calibre is really good.

But if one is happy, there are a few possible reasons:

1) One is genuinely a saint.

2) One has not given enough, till it hurts.

It does me no harm to buy tissue from some old or crippled person, or to help a blind man reach his destination when I’m pretty free. I feel happier thereafter, and it doesn’t hurt.

But introduce the kind of poor person who literally leaches onto you, who sees you as not so much a person or a friend but as a source of income, who wallows in self-pity and continually complains, even about the people who have helped her. Then see if helping him or her makes you feel happy inside.

I encountered just such a person yesterday. I didn’t like the sight of her, the way she looked and talked. But it was obvious she was not only poor but unpopular. And it was not right to leave her be. Was I courting trouble? I treated her to dinner and smiled at her constantly. I later offered to buy her some food provisions when she told me of the very unhealthy food she was eating (I am a Pharisee when it comes to eating). I told God this is mortification.

She asked for $20 for transport money. I gave $10.

But along the way, she stopped and admired more than food provisions. And hinted that she wanted them.

I know now what it means to give until it hurts.

It was not so much the amount of money. I can give $10 away without feeling much of a pinch if I love the person. But giving $10 to a person whom you didn’t like, a person who asked when you were coming to church again so you would, as she expressly states, give her $20 once in 2 weeks,  it hurt.

Yesterday, I saw the negative side of the human race and it was distasteful. Fulton Sheen compares God becoming man, to man consenting to live among serpents. I understood that analogy better yesterday. The irony, I am also man. I also have a most pathetic and distasteful side. Thus, “Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us” is the verse from the Our Father I keep in mind when I encounter such distasteful behavior from others, knowing that God has to endure much more from me. In this case, he has to endure my reluctance to give money, even when he has given me quite a bit of it! He has put persons in my life who have been extremely generous, most notably the French family I stayed with while in Paris, the elderly woman who invited me to her house for home-cooked asian meals…But look at my reaction when I have to be generous!

Ron Rolheiser speaks about a similar idea in his article most eloquently, “LOVE BEYOND NAIVETÉ AND ROMANCE”.

“Only two kinds of people think that love is easy: saints, who through long years of self-sacrifice have made a habit of virtue, and naïve persons who don’t know what they’re talking about.” (Jacques Maritain)

So I asked Jesus to excuse me while I listen in. And as I listened, I couldn’t help smiling.

This man was praying for his daughters, specifically that they return home safely from their trip with colleagues. He kept repeating this prayer, very earnestly. Lastly, and only lastly did he pray for his legs.

Despite the painful legs, he tottered towards Jesus and placed his hands on the glass covering. And repeated the same prayers.

I wanted to laugh. Still, I was touched by his prayers. I thought it revealed a father’s heart, a father who placed his daughters above himself.

And despite all that tottering, I believe that here was a good man, a true one.

I started to wonder if God was telling me something about His own heart.

(I think he did mention something about Jesus knowing that he loves his wife, as on the day they met. I might be imagining it though. Wasn’t listening carefully enough.)

Went out w Joyce today, another thing to be happy about

So imagine my delight when on my way on work on Monday morning I saw not one, but a whole flock of parakeets! A pity I didn’t bring my camera

But I think this is the one I saw…

source of picture:http://petslobby.com/tag/parakeet-care/

Btw, I must note to self and world– I finished ‘A Thousand Splendid Suns’ in a day Rare for me. A colleague lent it to me pretty enthusiastically, and I’m looking forward to sharing more books with colleagues.

It was like that in Rome as well. I took in the marvelous history, and monuments…and felt it all to be so decadent, hedonistic and empty.

The few days after I received the news saw me pacing up and down the school. I didn’t think anyone noticed. I am shocked they did. A colleague gave me a hamburger out of the blue.

Amusing.

Then it rose. A feeling of determination.

And then fear.

And reassurance. God will fight for me. Which this song reminded me of.

My deferment has been approved.