November 2, 2009 § 1 Comment
I came assured that there shall be nothing I will miss when I leave Vancouver. I come here missing Singapore, enjoying myself but nevertheless, knowing that I will want to go back.
And that has not changed. Surely, it has not changed, just that now when I think of leaving, I also think of some friendships I will be leaving behind and there is a tinge of sadness when I think I have but 2 months to solidify whatever friendships I want to solidify here. There have been people I’ve met whom I think 4 months is not enough to get to know. And even when I think of people whom I don’t really like or have no intention getting to know better…I’m starting to think that 4 months is just too short a time to waste it over wanting not to be with certain others, for 4 months is all we have. Why not make it good? Admittedly I realise this only when I have 2 months left, but the urgency only becomes stronger.
I’ve spent too much time, while at point A, wishing I could be at point B. Part of it was out of fear. I feared that I might change, I had the notion that if I made too good friends here it would mean less space in my heart for the ones back home. I thought it was me trying to be faithful. But I underestimated the capacity of my heart. There is always room for more, always space to love and be vulnerable. It’s time to treasure and embrace the now.
If all the people whom we love and who love us could congregate in one place…