counter-productive

November 8, 2009 § Leave a comment

I have ‘The Silver Chair’ sitting on my bed.

And above it, a whole shelf of christian books I intend to read. Yet I still borrow ‘The Silver Chair’.

On the internet, I have all the blogs of C.S.Lewis enthusiasts. I have the office of readings.

I want to devour everything at once. Yet it seems that in my hunger, I devour nothing at all. I read one paragraph, and move on to another piece.

My heart is so restless.

I’m dismayed when I read the following:

Scripture tells us that Adam and Eve had been walking with God every single day, in the afternoon, bathed in Light, and in the presence of Truth.  Eve could have said to the serpent, “I’ll have to go back and talk it over with God.”  One of the tactics of the enemy is to have us move forward without asking God.  “Don’t go back and ask the Lord.  Don’t go into prayer!  Make a decision now, hurry, hurry!”   Busyness, and that ‘hurry up, don’t take time,’ attitude is all part of the strategy.  Satan does not want us to communicate with God at all.

http://www.bellwetheromaha.org/teachings/

Perhaps it’s not exactly the same thing, but I believe what I’m facing now is a good disguise of what is described in the above paragraph. I think I’m communicating with God, because I want to devour all the books related to Him. Yet, I’m not communicating with Him at all. My restless and impatience keeps me from resting in Him, and seeking His will first in all I do.

I need to make it a point to rest in Him.

 

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