March 16, 2010 § 1 Comment
I just came back from visiting my aunt, who had just undergone masectomy. She was diagnosed with breast cancer a few weeks ago. How her life has changed! I cannot even believe it myself.
Yet through it all, I have gained a newfound respect for her. Most women would be depressed. Yet though when she speaks of what she has to go through I sense that maybe she’s on the verge of tears, she still assures us that everything is alright with her, that physical appearance is not important at all. She draws what she has learnt from her Buddhist faith, saying that the body is unimportant given that we cannot take it with us to death anyway.
As I walk out from the hospital, having encountered both her and other patients who have problems with various body parts, I realise I don’t treasure enough what I have. I realise how fragile and vulnerable we are, how we cannot control our future, how everything is ultimately in the hands of God…
and how He sustains us, every cell, every hair, He knows and sustains them through and through.
When it’s my birthday tomorrow, I shall thank God for the very fact that I’m alive and healthy.
In a few minutes it will be my birthday. Yet for the past few hours, the silence and stealth that death steals our lives worries me. What is scary is how I live day to day assuming that death will never come. I hurt others, think horrible thoughts of them, wish they be gone so I can have some time alone., prioritise work over spending time with a loved one..yet if I look at each human as if s/he could disappear from my sight anytime, if I see that I only have a limited time to spend with someone, time which I may long to have in the future but do not, then my perspective starts to change.
I start to take a long lingering look at my mother as she sleeps. I start to find silly all the time I watch tv, go on the computer, while outside my family is indulging in tv. As if our lives here on earth were eternal. I find myself thinking of what I can do so I can spend more time with the grandparents and aunt.
How vulnerable we are, and how transient our lives, and how little we appreciate all these.
It is my birthday, I am alive. My loved ones are alive. How significant that is.