Stumbling upon Him
June 11, 2010 § Leave a comment
I was to meet APY yesterday for CG planning. Before that, I decided to go to St. Peter and Paul’s for mass.
I reached on time, but to my surprise, the congregation was already singing. It was not long before I realised that this was no mass. People were reading from little booklets. When that happens, it probably means there is a novena. But not to Mother Mary, for I didn’t recognise the words. Umm. I peeped at the booklet of the woman standing in front of me. Ha. No clue.
Throughout I stared in front in bewilderment. Ocassionally, I checked my watch. At times I tried to make out the words the congregation was chanting, to no avail. It came upon me that God must have superb hearing, for in order to understand what was going on, I would need to be actually reading the words in booklet myself.
The priest then spoke. It was a sermon on forgiveness, and in it he mentioned the prodigal son. Earlier on, I was considering if we should use that passage for CG. Before I entered the church, I asked God if He would show me the way. It seemed, then, that God was confirming my decision.
Then came the exposition of the blessed sacrament. The priest came walking along the aisle with it. The people raised their hands in adoration. I didn’t. Instead, I could not take my eyes off it. There was in it a strange and un-utterable attraction. But very soon I could not bring myself to look up, because I was crying.
Now if you ask me why, I am unable to tell you because I have no clue why I was crying. When I cried, I was shocked and looked to my feelings for a possible cause there–but I didn’t have much emotions. Some things brains will never be able to figure out– and that is why I will not try to analyse myself here.
After mass, I felt happier, as if whatever I had been struggling to carry had been lifted, and that many things didn’t matter, because God is here. As I breathed on my walk to the library, I remembered who was breathing in me.