a dream

September 25, 2010 § Leave a comment

On the night of thursday, I had a dream.

It was of Auntie Pressie, a maid from Philippines who had taken care of me since I was a baby till my toddler years. After she left us, her daughter had called us up, saying that she hadn’t come home. Every time I think about it, I feel sad.

In my dream she looked so different, she had become so thin. I cannot remember much of the dream, except the feeling during the dream that I loved her even though she was so broken.  When I look back now, I think that perhaps her life was in pieces because she spent the years she could have spent with her family on some kid who did not belong to her.

It’s been 18 years since she left. Sometimes I still hope that I will see her again. I recall clearly the time I knew when she was leaving. I was beside her as she packed her clothes. Although I was feeling sad then, I recall trying to be cool about it and jokingly asked her to leave some of her clothes for me so that I could wear them when she was gone.  The day she was gone, I remember my sister and I playing on the floor with our mother looking after us. But when I look at it as if looking at a picture, the scene I see is tinted grey.

It could have been raining, or I could have been feeling empty inside.

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