June 21, 2011 § Leave a comment

I’ve not been too good lately, with the difficulty of feeling gratitude and the not wanting to say my 3 o’clock prayers because I don’t feel repentant and the 3 o’clock prayer is about asking for mercy.

I am not grateful for water most of the time. I even think it’s plain. But I did start feeling grateful yesterday after my run. I was grateful for water. I was grateful it was so easily available. But I was also grateful there was ice, and milo, and ribena…

I have for sometime nursed a resentment against my father for spending too much time outside the house. But today, I revamped my space and was grateful that he helped me install the shelf, especially since he had just bathed, and started to sweat again after installing the shelf.

And the 3 o’clock prayer. I didn’t feel repentant when I was about to say it. But halfway through it, I thought, maybe it’s saying the prayer which helps me to reach true contrition.

So many realisations, I think it’s been a good day.

 

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