November 1, 2011 § Leave a comment
I was looking forward to decorating the classroom, setting goals for this largely aimless flock (keeping in mind especially the boy who claimed he was useless), finding articles with moral values I hope I can inculcate in them, go through the major exams with them…
Then the news came that I would be sent for training.
This is good news. But needless to say, this is upetting, though less so now. I feel there’s so much I still want to experience with them, so much I want to tell them. I am also burdened by the fact that I had to find 2 sureties because I’m signing a contract and will be bonded. Double whammy 😦
At mass, I was busy with thoughts of what I would leave behind. Could I call them up for extra coaching during the holidays? Could I make a banner for them to hang in class though I won’t be there? Will I have a holiday that they don’t have so I can come back to see them?
Then it occurred to me, that I wanted to stay with them in their hearts/minds even though I could not be physically present. I also thought that this was not an egoistic thought. Rather, I wanted to be with them and needed to find a way to.
Looking at the Eucharist, it came to mind that maybe Jesus had the same thought while He was celebrating the last supper and suffering on the cross. He looked almost 2000 years ahead and desired to be with me. Maybe he even hid a little smile? Because oh joy, He found a way!
Now I am not Jesus, but I am God’s child. Surely I could have the same effect.
I just looked at Jesus and told Him, “You are in them, and I am in You!” And repeating it, it makes sense! Though when I first said it while starting at Him, it didn’t :X Anyway, Jesus now has a motherly look on His face. I don’t mean to feminize Him, but I haven’t seen this look in the earthly fathers around.