July 1, 2012 § Leave a comment
I haven’t posted in a while.
I have much to say though.
In the past month, I’ve realised the need to accept love. I realise that I’m averse to depending on others, that when I have to ask for help I would rather run away. But there are people who love me and want to me there for me, who would risk their safety/comfort to protect me. It is a matter of me allowing it to happen. Well, the circumstances this past month forced me to be dependent. I feel I’m being carried. It’s a feeling that is sobering, but it’s good.
I’m happy. I’m happy seeing the children. Now that I’m leaving the kids are abit better. OK, MUCH better 😀 Colleagues/Students I thought wouldn’t care that I’m leaving suddenly reveal feelings I never thought existed. Or I thought existed but we let the daily hectic activity push out of mind. The world is good. People are good. If only we would be less busy and live more mindfully.
I laugh every day, almost. The kids are so refreshingly honest. It’s one reason I love what I’m doing 🙂
I thought I would add, that when I needed to make the decision if to stay, I was troubled. Was I settling? So I prayed. And on the day that I had timed myself to make a decision, I watched a touching show about teaching. The first year. Was this a sign? I’m going to see it as one 🙂