Oh, how long ago since I last wrote. 

Although writing is therapeutic. 

Inference: Either I haven’t been in need of therapy, or I have not had it despite needing it 

It is good that the break is here. Though short, it has allowed me to recognise what I have been doing–well, more like what I need to stop doing. Work-life balance is an art and I feel that I’m losing myself to work, which is bad because then I get grumpy. Even using this word feels like a euphenism. Horrible. Horrible might be the word. 

(Hmm..I think I still write like my 15-year-old self. Gahhh.)

I’ve been meeting up with friends this week for almost every day, a luxury when one is working. It has been good– to know that I am not alone in my struggles, to get out of my shell a bit and know that hello other people are also having issues so can I please stop wallowing in my own little pool of nonsense problems? 

Tuesday’s conversation topic was “We are so depressed”

We both had appointments but were too downtrodden to budge, so we just sat down and ate, and wallowed. This led A to laugh and remark philosophically, “Sometimes we know we have to do something but we just won’t do it.” I laughed too. I know, not very funny, but we were both tired. And when I am tired, I laugh at anything. There should be a study done on this phenomena. Maybe it’s our body’s coping mechanism. 

Wednesday’s conversation was about various things, such as the need for work-life balance and being realistic in what one could accomplish. K suggested that instead of aiming to make a difference, it is more realistic to make a dent, or to scratch the surface. Haha, I’m not in the mood to argue against this. Some resolutions forming in my mind– I need to do something, maybe rock-climbing or yoga. 

Wednesday I also sat in the adoration room for a good hour at least. I hardly talked to Him. I was just happy to do the ‘silent friend’ thing in which you just sit silently with a friend and enjoy his company, and the ‘sunshine’ thing– if you bask in Jesus’s light, you will change, although you don’t feel it. Didn’t the famous St Theresa even suggest it was alright to sleep while praying? 

Thursday’s (today’s) topic was on mean people. V was upset about a colleague who was being deliberately mean, and we were both wondering how people became mean, and how we could live the “love your enemies” thing. I suggested that mean people were really just very sad people, who felt they could trust no one but themselves. And she agreed saying that she thinks the colleague must expand a lot of energy being mean, and how tiring it was. We also talked about the difference between men and women, how men wanted respect and women wanted love. I still don’t get the respect thing. Isn’t it better to be loved despite yourself? And if this counts as a reason, God is love 🙂 Women have chosen the best thing by wanting love. 

My mental faculties are obviously in bimbo mode today. Good night!